1. Cursing

Your phone will always fall down, knocking your last toe, forgetting to lock the door and waking up as Waiguru. So many factors rolls our tongue in an ‘F’ way.

2. Bumping into someone

Nairobi! Nairobi! Nairobi! You bump with people, cars, motorbikes, bicycles and occasional donkeys (Rongai is in Nairobi, Trump is president now). Moi Avenue you will bump into thieves, murderers and ‘smokie’ guys. Sometimes you are the thief.

3. Staring

This is not the same as staring at a Rolls Royce passing by, or a bum on toned legs or even that beard game. It’s so subconscious, a Maserati can pass by without it clicking, the woman of your dreams can say ‘hi’ twice and you can also get hit by car like in those Indian movies. Don’t get lost in your thoughts, ask Hilary’s voters

4. Making weird facial expressions

Have you ever found yourself so deep in your thoughts or immersed in a conversation on phone that your face goes through fifty shades of wrinkling? It happens in the car, on the toilet seat, at the bar alone and at yo baby mamas. You are not alone.

5. Scratching your head in a public place

I am talking about weaves, wigs, bald head, dreadlocks and Trump hairstyles. Everyone does it, the only problem comes in when you actually flick dandruff to other people. Scratching your head has nothing to do with thinking and if it does, grab a banana.

6. Smiling at serious issues

With absolute no ill intentions once in a while you will find yourself smiling at something grotesque. Or smile when a bad situation is happening. If you find yourself overdoing this, seek medical advice.

7. Lie

Women lie, men lie, Trump lied and Oprah does not lie.



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