1.Closing a bra
A woman’s sense of intuition did not start yesterday; this skill has been perfected and passed on from generation after generation of the feline community. Being able to hook one end to the other securely without looking is not to be taken lightly. You have to tilt your head a certain angle, bite your lower lip slightly and repeatedly twitch one of your eyes in an attempt to succeed. All this for a young lad expecting recognition for unhooking a bra with one hand( men always think they are better at everything until it comes to the color wheel)
First of all, it’s a woman’s prerogative to arrive late. With that established, no woman should be held accountable for punctuality related facets. It is not easy to look this good that fast. In marketing we say it’s either you want it fast, good or expensive and you can’t have a ménage a trois with all of them. Time is never enough for anything due to our inkling to perfection and our obsession with perfection no matter how early we start.
Eyebrows take up 70% of an average female’s time during preparation. This fact doesn’t apply to females with one-line eyebrow, colored eyebrows and generally no eyebrows. The artistry accompanying the perfection of drawing an eyebrow goes overly underrated. This act requires precision, dedication, stable hands and good lighting otherwise you would come out looking like one of the casts from Black Panther. If you think the drawing bit is the unbearable factor, you couldn’t be more wrong; hair removal aka tweezing is way above your pain grade. Tweezing in a man’s language is……everything you would wish on the guy who stole your girl plus extra. God help us with the new fishbrow trend.
The fact that there is a time of the month to begin with is already an agony. Power to the species that bleeds every month without dying. It is written that thou shall respect the living dead. If you know very well you do not possess Bascopan plus neither do you belong to the strong painkillers bracket, may your presence seize. At this point in time, you can get stabbed, cursed or handed your life in a jiffy upon any wrong utterance or even any utterance at all. Beware of a woman with a shedding interior and a glowing exterior. It aint safe for the black or the white girl.
No we do not enjoy shaving anywhere. The first woman herself never got to know a bikini wax, Adam never complained and everybody lived happily….well ..until…The point is, shaving shouldn’t be made a fundamental social norm for women. We should be free to keep our hair at our own peril- men shouldn’t dictate where we shave, how we shave or whether we shave at all. If it were possible to enjoy the joys of clean shaven areas without going through the trials and tribulations of shaving, waxing and razor bumps we would all be quite at peace
A man doesn’t spend more than five minutes in the shower and if he does, honey you are two females in that house. Quick in and out is enough for an average guy to clean all the right places but for females it’s a little bit different given our exaggerated endowments. We have to reach between the crevices, the nook and the cranny, the high and the low then go far and wide. Just when you think you are done, you still have to exfoliate your face, cleanse and tone.
7.Emotional rolling moss
It may seem fun being able to articulate all our emotions and having that freedom at that but it’s a wreck. Experiencing 47 types of emotions throughout the day only to wake up to go through a different set off emotions the next day is pure slavery. The chains are mental and this is not a Django story, we are never free from them. Sharing the world with the other irrational species does not help this situation; our board members intend to take it up with the guy upstairs. He might be the only guy who gets it.
I might be biased but I bet Delilah cut Samson’s hair just to fix it unto hers if there was crochet then. Waking up to comb and style your hair a certain way but your hair has its own mind so you end up looking like the weekend on a weekday. It’s a battle every day. Be cautious when handling a female in the morning, she might look like Beyoncé but she did not wake up like that. All those females with short hair, we disown you from the pack. Go on to your male counterparts, brethren.
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY LADIES
Here is to strong women.
May we know them
May we be them
May we raise them