You cannot confine a woman in generic terms and conditions. We are not perishable goods or insurance that comes with a product description. For decades, the role of a good woman has been left upon degenerate male counterparts in the society.

To date there are men who think that they can put measures for a woman simply because they are defaulted to have a penile and beard.

We clearly have been ascribed little value. I’m not saying every man is subjective and subscribes to this mediocre standard of mankind but a legacy has been passed on and still lives. Sadly, women also play into it.

It is deeply ingrained in our custom to subdue women and the cause of it trickles down to history. Back to the decades where women were not allowed todo any kind of work; back when we were seen as vessels of hygiene and populating.

The days when men were considered superior due to their physical strength; the days women and children were left in the rural homes as their husbands toiled and brought food for them at the end of the day. Whilst expecting gratification and adornment for what they are meant to do to begin with.

Do you praise a door for inhibiting random compromising visits? Our relationship has been dwindling over the years and we are surpassing stalemate.

What a woman should be in the society is just a mirage created by our fore fathers in order to continue their dominance.

The set standards aren’t meant to make us better people; the so-called norms are there to suppress our thinking and to withdraw the freedom of defining our own path.

Mental freedom

‘Modern day slavery’ to be precise. Most of us battle the screen we have in our heads whenever the word slavery is loosely thrown around. But it runs much deeper and is now taking up various facades.

This is where our connection with civilization severed, we still champion for the same rudimentary exercises that hurt and inhibit growth of our women. We have become so complacent that we are not seeing our women drowning in an abyss of stale culture and shallow beliefs.

At the ground level women are still not safe, we are still afraid; we are not who we are born to be; queens. We are in constant conflict with persons who insist on customs that favor patriarchy.

On social media, the girl child is winning but behind closed curtains, in our neighborhoods; we are still meek (mill) and vulnerable.

Most of us are floating in a state of unawareness that we are in mental shackles. We have resigned to thinking that this is how it is and there is no point of going against the grain.

We live in a society where physical attributes still gain favor over interests, value and intelligence.

We no longer have a Wangari Mathai in our time and are no longer cultivating them. We have turned a blind eye to what reality is and shrug upon phrases such as girl child or rape. Why? It hasn’t been driven home enough; some sort of intergalactic problem that other people should take care of.

Talk, opinions

We should do more than stifle sighs and raise eyebrows to ensure that our women are safe. This is no girl child gobbled up mantra; this is for the progression of our society. Would you want your daughter to go through the same things you have?

Doing what our time is requiring of us now so that our children can have a better tomorrow. Otherwise we are stuck in a loophole that will chew us up simply because of male supremacy and female negligence.

The shedding of the mask is gradual but it has to be intentional. Rape victims have never received the airplay they should be because one way or another they are blamed for the same tragedy.

It has taken us long enough to separate the word rape and shame, even longer to shift the perspective to the perpetrators. How many of our girls should be raped for a social revolution to occur?

Legacies have been passed on to an extent whereby our black women still don’t believe they are beautiful enough and white persons are hell-bent to get a tan. Who is fooling who?

We have been lied to that lighter shade of skin is better and in turn give more double taps to a fairer skin woman. We hide behind the curtains of racism and pretend that we like short hair better yet it took Lupita for us to accept the notion.

Women have been given a standard that they are to graduate and marry in that order vis-a-vis men who have been praised for studying and having a successful job.

Who are to marry these girls that you have plummeted into thinking they aren’t enough without marriage? Women who have successful careers and big homes are shunned as being infertile but a man with no kids is bragged upon by his mates.


We’ve been raised as girls to have dreams but not to dream too far for we have a biological timeline doomed to expire. We have caused girls to suffer too much demise.

We must stop; making us feel less valued because of child-bearing; ridiculing women who have not been able to carry their child to full term and it’s absolutely sickening to judge us based on the gender of the children we bear.

In a world in which women are becoming presidents it surely is a great time to be alive. It’s time we change the narrative; it’s time we stop teaching girls and boys what was passed on from people we have never met.

It’s time to uplift both genders and to let them define their own path and character without drowning them with dogmas and generic ideas that serve no purpose.

We as women shouldn’t be confined to a certain set standard. The theory of a good woman is simply a bunch of random ideas people in the Stone Age decided on.

Staying in a loveless relationship doesn’t make you a good woman; cleaning and cooking the whole day to please others is not being a good woman; a good woman isn’t the one who sacrifices herself to feed another’s ego.

She doesn’t wear makeup to hide her husband’s temper nor does she forsake her dreams to be owned. And if you think I’m wrong, point me a man who does the aforementioned.

Super woman

A good woman is any woman who has come to terms that she is not perfect and that there is no such thing as perfect.

She knows pain like the cold side of her pillow; she knows loss, for it was taken before it came to be; a good woman is constantly trying to be her best self despite her past.

She has fallen more than she has risen; she has won battles that no one knows about and couldn’t fathom; a good woman gives no matter how little she has left.

A good woman is not some iconic figure you get in your head; it is you who keeps fighting for yourself when everyone is telling you not to.

This culture has congenital dishonesty, general worthlessness and rancid morals. That instead of making us a better people, it is driving us to severe mental health issues and addiction.

There is a heavy premonition of loss that is lingering, and we will be damned if we let our children slave for a tradition that adds no meaning and breaks their spirit. We must stand together and fight for ourselves; we must fight for a woman inclusive society and a safe future.


  1. Women can be liberated from such parameters set for them by freeing their minds. No matter how much you try you will not be able to please everyone. It is sad that we have so many placed upon us by virtue of being ‘a woman’ but unfortunately falling into those stereotypes as a woman will most likely leave you unhappy and suffering in a relationship.
    Young people have this ‘ride or die’ concept, used to imply that a woman who sticks with a man through hard and more than often abusive times, helps a man grow and is an ideal woman.
    I find such concepts absolutely ridiculous and it is time men empowered women rather than cage them to validate them as ‘perfect’ or ‘wife materials’.

    • This is so accurate I want to add it to the piece hahaha….who qualifies for a relationship is usually a woman who has been cheated on, battered and emotionally abused countless times, we really don’t need to suffer and lose our selfworth just to get validation from men or women alike, the whole idea of wife material and ride or die gives me bile…well put dear💯💯


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